Hi My Doves,
You know how there is always a wave of friends that get engaged and married and have babies all at the same time. It’s just like if there is a city wide blackout and nine months to the day the hospitals maternity wards are more grid locked then the freeway on a Monday morning – So I was talking to a single friend the other day and this is happening in her life at the moment and I’ve been there too ( not the blackout, the engagement and weddings) – that can be the worst time for a single girl because it makes you re-evaluate your relationship status. Even a single girl who 99% of the time is happy with her single status – can feel the ground shake beneath her and question her choices.
I am more than aware of the reasons I am single. It starts off with: I choose to be. The way I fall in love is completely and blindly. I am only too aware that when I fall in love (which only is once in every five years, if I am truthful) everything else falls be the waist side – including seeing the world and writing a novel. I know there are things I need to do first, thing I need to accomplish before I will be a hundred and ten per cent happy in that relationship – right now I can opening and whole heartily say ‘I am too selfish for a relationship’
But as I have said when that wave of friends are getting engaged and married and have babies, a girl can feel lonely or feel like she’s made the wrong choice.
I think it’s our way of thinking that needs to change about the dreaded ‘single’ status. I hate the thought of turning into an ‘Aunt March’ character – in ‘Little Women’ old, crotchety and difficult. Rotting away in a big old house with nothing but a yappy dog and forcing a companion to come see me. I hate that thought…………..but I love the thought of being a Stevie Nicks type character that relish the joys of aunthood. Be that cool Rock n Roll aunt with the amazing wardrobe that my niece will beg me to wear (it’s already started. When I brought my Nicole Richie kimonos and they got delivered my niece’s first words were ‘Pretty,they for me?’ She was three at the time)
It’s okay to have those moments or doubt – question if you are on the right path for you and your dreams – if at the end of the day or in a few days’ time you go back to your single loving self – that is fantastic but if you think that yes, you want a relationship. That’s great too – go out on a date – test out a few guys – because there is nothing wrong with that either.
I love being single – I will cop to dancing around the house to Lady Gaga, Kelly Clarkson or belting out Cher at the top of my lungs because there is no one else there and I enjoy it. I like that I can sleep diagonal in my queen size bed and spend the whole weekend catching up on The Walking Dead because I haven’t seen it since The governor showed up with a big giant tank – I can do that and not feel guilty. I however will not cop to being like Bridget Jones – in any way shape or form – My underwear is a secret I keep with Victoria, not a ships sale I get from Ms Mable. ( okay fine, My booze intake maybe the same as Bridget’s but I will never date a guy that can’t throw a decent punch)
There is no wrong avenue to finding happiness, as long as you’re not doing harm to yourself or other because we all deserve happiness – single or not