I honestly sometimes think that I am still in high school and not in the cool ‘hey let wear black jelly bracelet and do the dance to the sound of The Ketchup Song’ – type way. I mean, Mean Girls isn’t just a movie. Sometimes they are in our lives – disgusted as our closest friends. How do Girlfriends – become toxic friends?
Sometimes you don’t realise it at first – you enjoy having a good bitch over a glass of wine – it’s starts off as a stress release. You spend more time together because the last time, you had so much fun. Slowly but sure – that toxic friend takes over your life. You email every day at work, text while you’re at home. You go out on the weekends. You either ignore the warning signs – the comment that made you sit up straight and go ‘oh wow’ – Them telling you – that you look good in something – then you wear it a few months or years laters and look in the mirror and go – ‘omg, I look hideous’ – you start to get tried, without knowing why ‘I get plenty of sleep. I eat right. Why am I still tired?’ Suddenly everything is about them, their problems, their drama, their opinions – Suddenly they say something and you hate it. Then this snowball effect happens and you can’t stand being around them
Welcome to the club, you have a Toxic Friend.
A toxic friend’s favorite card to play is the humble brag
Hey, I bumped into that friend that you know longer friends with – we had coffee together – she told me about this, this and this is going on in her life.
The fact that you saw this very same person, a week before and they totally ignored you. Making great efforts to not make eye contact with you. Is a no, never mind.
This card is played to make you feel small and make you out of the inner circle. It’s them against you.
Sometimes as cruel as it may sound – you need to cut away the poison to save the leg – or save yourself. Once you did it enables new people to come into your life and bring something amazing along with them. This is something that has happened to me of the past few years. Those toxic people are still in my life but only in little doses and only when I want them to be.
The biggest lesson to learn from people like this – the toxic one, the power player or the manipulators –is this. You can take their power away by simply not caring.
Take a step back – look at all the others in your life. Who are the people that bring something good and positive into your life? Spend time with those people – you be amazed at how much your life changes
Spend time with the people that would hand you their compact mirror and tell you – that you have lettuce in your teeth because they are your true friends
“It makes no sense to try to extend a friendship that was only meant to be a season into a lifetime.”
― Mandy Hale