Deep Dark Secrets….



A wonderful thing happened to me today.

You know those deep dark secrets you keep to yourself but what you want out of life. Those things that you keep locked up in fear of someone say it will never happen, will never work, quit dream – all of that stuff.

Mid last year I really got into jazz/blues music (something I could totally expand my knowledge about, mind you). I’ve always love Billie Holiday, ever since high school sometime – I loved her passion and honesty when she would sing. So while writing my WIP last year I did I little research. Downloaded a little of that style of music. I fell in love with Sarah Vaughan, so much so that I named the Manuscript after one of her songs. I gave my Heroine the job as a singer in a bar/restaurant where she would sing that type of music – to begin with. Mainly because I would be listening to it as I wrote, so it was in my head. I thought wow, what a cool job to have.


It wasn’t until I found a singer my the name of Melody Gardot that something within me sparked and I realise that this was something I want to do but I kept it to myself. There is something about Melody’s music in particular that I just cannot help but sing out loud. I sing it loudly in my house and have been known to be caught singing it on the train on my way to work (If you like your women sweet. Consider me your wine. Not the best line to sing on public transport) I sang in the Australian Youth Choir when I was younger but quit after a year because I didn’t like the songs we would sing.   A fact not even my friends would know about me. I’ve kept it all hidden, even though I like to sing and you guys, of all people know I LOVE music.

Singing and my new found want to sing was hidden, until this morning….

My friend and I – we shall call her ‘Rita’ have been talking about going to London when we’re thirty five. Our birthdays are a week apart. So we’re just going to pack a suitcase – fly out on her 35th – be in London for my 35th. So we’ve been talking about it on and off. Where’d we go –w hat we’d see-who’d we met.  This morning – totally over my day job in my head a put those two things together. Jazz/lounge singer in London. Not for the money, not for the fame. I could be singing an empty room and I wouldn’t care. So totally frustrated and a little blue I posted the thought on my FB page.

You have no idea the amount of love and support I received from the people that I love. One friend, who now lives in London, said – I’ll come see you. This secret desire, I have kept hidden was accepted and supported within minutes of me sending it out into the universe.

It’s days like today, moments like this morning that makes you sit back and truly understand how lucky you are – How lucky I am to have such love it my life



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