Hi My Loves
I was watching a video on President John F Kennedy’s “In His Own Words” It’s a beautiful, power video about President Kennedy’s visit to Ireland. I am part Geordie and part Irish. Both parts of me are very clear and utterly strong. I sometimes feel like I was only just born in Australia. There are certain time when you connect with something in your DNA – I mean I know it sounds silly – but whatever this thing is you have this feeling inside you that goes ‘ahhh, home’. The first time this happened to me was a few years ago. I was going one the Art Gallery in Sydney to see the painting that won the Archibald Prize that year. I’m not one of those, Oh I love art snooty people but that year the price was one by an artist called Vincent Fantauzzo and it was a painting of Health Ledger, he sat for the painting just weeks before he died and I had this need to see it, I actually cried when I saw it (I know I am a total girl)
We parked the car alongside Hyde Park and there was a heap of people in the park. I heard this music. Full of fiddles, flutes, pennywhistle, uilleann pipes and something inside me just clicked and I hate how stupid this sounds but I had a connection to that music. We walked up the steps and the park was packed with people, all wearing green and orange and some dressed as Leprechauns’ just having a good time. It was like something clicked in me and I felt like I was at home.
There was certain things that happen and I understand why I am the way I am. Why I have that slow burning rage or even why I like a drink. My rebellious side. My Ma always said we were the strict catholic Irish but that never quite sat right with me – that’s not what I connected with me. That was until my Da told me about a lady on his side of the family who was also Irish. All her brothers were priest and she fell pregnant at sixteen and smoke from a clay pipe in her later year – now that felt right to me. That rebellious ‘Everybody’s doing it so why the hell should I’ thing – that’s me.
So back to the President John F Kennedy thing I was watching – in the speech that JFK gave he said George Bernard Shaw, speaking as an Irishman said
Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?
It was another one of those ‘ahhhh’ moment.
I’ve had the in me ‘Why not?’
The past few weeks when writing has been more than a problem. I’ve been questioning why I want this. Why I want to write? Why I want to be good? And the answer is simple. The little Irish/Geordie girl inside me answered those questions for me