I was watching a short on you tube during the week about Yellowstone, wolfs and climbing rocks. Other then it was beautifully shot and inspiring to watch. Something stuck me. A person interview said – people crave something real in today’s world
Think about it. As a community, any community, any country we are surround by fakery. Mostly we do it for show. So we are accepted. Maybe because we think we needed to, just for the simple fact that – that just what we do. Reality tv shows that aren’t reality. Fake people, fake nature, fake b. Fake, Fake, fake. It’s a way of life now. We are so used to it that we don’t even notice it anymore.
Or maybe we are just so wrapped up in our own lives that – we can’t see we are doing it
A few months back a friend of mine come to our office for a visit. She had been on leave and I hadn’t seen her in forever. I hugged her hello and she hugged me back but it wasn’t just a hug. She meant it. We stood there, heart to heart and she swayed me from side to side and she meant it. We had missed each other and it made me think – how long had it been since I’d been hugged like that, genuinely hugged.
The same story with talking to people. I mean talking. A few years back I found myself frustrated because people weren’t being real. I’d say things and the responses would be – This is what you say in this situation – not that it was the persons fault. It was what was socially acceptable to say that situation. They were being supportive – the best way they knew how but was not real
I don’t care if you disagree with me. I don’t care if you call me crazy. I don’t care if you say – I don’t understand why you do that?
Just be real with me.
One of the worst things you can say to someone when they are pouring their heart out to you is say flatly
As long as you’re happy and not really mean it. Whatever makes you happy. When you don’t know what else to say
Whatever makes you happy- shouldn’t be used as a full stop.
No matter the good intent behind your words – the other person knows the difference.
You feel the difference.
Someone who inspires me greatly is a woman by the name of Angi Greene – she posted on Facebook this week. That when she is sad, it was harder for her to take care of herself. Her go to years back was cigarettes and coffee. Anything to numb the pain. Hide from it. She said – we are not trained sit with pain, to hold it, learn to be vulnerable. How we can change all of it with each day choices – mainly choices to take care of ourselves
But just take a second and think about that for a second. We numb pain, we numb uncomfortable. Cigarettes, caffeine, alcohol, drugs, sex, music. Anything to disappear or at least make the pain disappear
We never sit with pain and feel it until the pain is gone because it does go away but pain always demands to be felt – that is why it is there.
The bottom line is
The world tells us
Don’t Cry. Don’t Fear. Don’t Let Anyone Else Know. What.Will.The.Neighbors.Think – plaster a big fake smile on your face and tell them your fine and have a great day.
We are conditioned from a very young age about this way of life
You know what – Fuck the neighbors – Fuck what they think- Fuck their feelings and just be fucking real – with yourself and the world
Seek out the Real. Seek out genuine people. It will make all the difference in the world
So this weekend, do me a favour. Just an itty bitty one.
Go outside, take you shoes off. Sit down and put your feet on and in the grass. Connect with the earth. Feel it because it is below you and its real.
Or at the very least – ask yourself a question
Life. Love. Hugs. Dreams. People. If it’s not genuine, what is the point? #lifeistooshort
Seek it out. Start changing your own world and then change someone elses
While this week I have been basking in everything Margot – because she is a goddess and trying to find the price of the Monse trench dress her wore at comic con. One has to worry when you can’t find a price of it. Let me be shallow for a second and say I want it. I want it. I want it.
I also want the rock star lifestyle, you know the stereotypical. Walking down the stairs of the private jet, wearing a faux fur coat and holding an open bottle of champagne
So this morning I woke up at two twenty in the morning, not knowing what day of the week it was and craving Mexican food because I’d been dreaming that I had been at a Mexican restaurant with a guy. Not sure who the guy was, but he was there. After an hour of lying there refusing to get out of bed because well it was cold and too early in the morning. I finally got up at three thirty.
Could I have been in a bad mood because I woke up so early, yep maybe but it just meant that I got to not rush around like a chicken with its head chopped off. I got to glide into the week, instead ramming head first into Monday. Lord, who wants to do that.
My whole day changed.
For about I say- at a guess – a year ago, I’ve changed my way of thinking about life and this included Monday. After all it is only another day. We give Monday too much power. I mean think about it. Poor little Monday is just doing its job, showing up , giving Sunday a high-five and taking its place in the line-up and then everybody hates on it with vengeance
It’s not Mondays fault you don’t wait to get out of bed
It’s not Monday’s fault you don’t want to go to work
It’s not Mondays fault the kids won’t getup/get dressed/eat breakfast
Life can’t all be late night dance parties in your kitchen and lazy Sundays with your squad
Monday is just a day. Just another day.
Last week I was reading a post on The Champagne Diet (If Cara is not on your weekly reading list – get on it. She’ll change your life)
One of the cornerstones for living The Champagne Diet Life is – Make everything beautiful.
Drink your coffee for a vintage tea cup – The theory is, life feels better when it’s pretty
So in the time I had in my very early morning I did one of the Champagne Diet Cornerstones For Living – which was simply , lighting scented candles first thing in the morning and you know what. It made a difference.
One thing I most always do is download a new song or album off itunes, just so I’ve got new tunes to enjoy on my way to work. Makes difference because I’m excited to get out the door.
It’s all about the little things you can do to improve your Monday and your life – day by day
So its Friday and you survived the week but that is life. Its series of days, that turns into weeks, months and then years. Each day is a time to celebrate, as is every morning because you get another day. It may sound silly but each day we get we need to be thankful for that day because we don’t know how many more days we are going to get.
What do we do with those days? Find something that sets your soul on fire. Something you’re deeply passionate about. It could be anything that makes your soul sing and your feet a little lighter. I don’t care what it is. Baking, scrap-booking, the wild and wacky world of bath bombs. I do not care . If it makes your heart beat a little faster. Go for it
Genius Smartphone Hacks That Will Change Your Life
The subject of stubbornness came up the other day and let me tell you. I’ll put up my hand and admit to that one. I am stubborn but not in the way you would first think. I’m not stomp my foot, cross my arms and pout because I didn’t get my way stubborn. I am determined in what I want but flexible in the ways to get it.
I will toil and suffer and do without until I can do or have what I want.
Put away two hundred bucks a week away for a year, cooking huge meals, living off leftovers and mac and cheese so I can see the world with my sister.
Live off four hours sleep working eight hours in my nine to five job and ten hours on my writing life for four years – until I am endlessly sick and worn down. I have to stop writing for three months – to recover.
That’s the stubborn I am
I’m a pinner – yes, as in Pinterest – I’ll pin a multi-million dollar house in Lake Tahoe, keep it on my fridge to remind myself on the goal. Yes, I want that house and it may take my thirty years on a very strict money saving plan and I’ll be sixty two when I get it and then Lake Tahoe may not be the right place to retire to but – I don’t care – I’ll have that house or one just like it.
Because that is what I want. God damn it
Some people may look at the price tag of that house and think ‘ There is no way I could ever afford that’
I look at that house and see what fun I could have – Ava Gardner once said – “ When I’m old and grey, I want to have a house by the sea. And paint. With a lot of wonderful chums, good music, and booze around. And a damn good kitchen to cook in.” – That’s what I saw for myself when I saw that house.
I saw it even more when I posted the photo of the view from the back deck as my cover photo on FB and my closest girls instantly started inviting themselves to my imaginary house that I haven’t brought yet.
That’s the thing about dreams – even extremely big, out of this world dreams. They are so easier to believe in – if you have company who believe the same thing.
I guess the same can be said for being stubborn
Be flexible about the road take – but just make sure that the road you choose – leads you to your goal or even close to it. Feel free to detour, take in an adventure off course, but always get back on that road to that stubborn goal.